The broken mirror.

We devalue in others what we cannot bear to recognize in ourselves. Cruelty is always autobiographical.

The broken mirror.

We devalue in others what we fear most to recognize in ourselves. Like vampires fleeing from mirrors, we attack in the other precisely what confronts us with our own fragility. This defensive operation reveals an uncomfortable truth: we only wound where we have been wounded before, we only deny what we secretly long to possess. Aggression toward others is always autobiographical.

The mechanism of devaluation builds castles on swampland. Each act of contempt toward others temporarily strengthens our ego, but paradoxically makes us more dependent on that same destructive operation. It's like burning furniture to keep warm: it works momentarily, but each combustion leaves us poorer, colder, more desperate to find something else to burn.

Current clinical practice reveals that behind every systematic devaluer lives a child not recognized in their uniqueness. Analytic work consists of creating a space where that vulnerability can emerge without the compulsive need to attack the otherness of others. Only by recognizing our own wound can we stop inflicting it.

Psychotherapy

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