The double-edged sword of suffering

Revenge represents a primal attempt to redirect the flow of suffering, transforming the passive experience of pain into an active pursuit of retribution. In this psychological alchemy, the helpless cry of "I suffer" metamorphoses into the empowering declaration "you will suffer." This transformation offers a seductive illusion of control, promising to convert victimhood into agency through the act of inflicting pain upon others.

Yet this redirection of suffering creates a devastating paradox. While revenge may momentarily alleviate the burden of helplessness, it initiates a cycle that ultimately consumes both the avenger and their target. The vengeful individual, in their quest to transfer pain, becomes bound to their own suffering in a new way. They exchange one form of bondage for another, as the pursuit of vengeance demands an endless investment of emotional energy and psychological resources.

For some, revenge becomes more than an act—it transforms into an identity, a reason for being that defines their entire existence. These individuals construct their whole world around the axis of retribution, finding purpose in the perpetual pursuit of payback. However, in making vengeance their life's mission, they unknowingly become prisoners of their own hatred, their identity forever tethered to the very source of their original pain.

Between suspicion and distrust

The ethics of suspicion represents a sophisticated stance towards language and human communication. It is not a cynical rejection of others' words, but a deep understanding that language, by its very nature, always says more and less than it intends. It is a recognition of the layers of meaning that inhabit each expression, where what is said and what is intended don't always coincide, not through deception but through the inherent complexity of human communication.

In contrast, distrust represents a more rigid and defensive position that assumes a priori the intention to deceive. This attitude not only impoverishes communication but closes the doors to the richness of meanings that can emerge in dialogue. While suspicion invites us to explore multiple possible meanings, distrust becomes stuck in the one-dimensional search for lies, missing the opportunity for deeper discoveries.

The difference between these two stances has crucial implications for human understanding. The ethics of suspicion recognizes that what is said is always what can be said, limited by the boundaries of language and the unconscious. It is an invitation to listen not only to the words but also to their echoes, their shadows, and their silences. It seeks not to unmask lies, but to discover truths that reveal themselves precisely in the folds and fissures of discourse.

The art of the therapeutic bond

The analytic process requires a delicate relational fabric between analyst and analysand, a connection that goes beyond mere professional interaction. This special bond creates a safe space where the deepest truths can emerge, where vulnerability finds refuge, and the most intense emotions can manifest without fear. It is a connection that must be strong enough to hold, yet flexible enough to allow movement and growth.

The intimacy that develops in this therapeutic space is unique in its nature. It must be deep enough to allow all passions, fears, hopes, and shadows of the analysand to surface. This bond becomes a bridge for crossing the turbulent waters of the unconscious, offering both support and freedom of exploration. It is a delicate balance between closeness and distance, between understanding and autonomy.

However, it is crucial to remember that this therapeutic bond must maintain its quality of flexible connection, avoiding becoming a knot that suffocates. The purpose is to facilitate dialogue, not create dependency; to allow development, not restrict it. Like a well-executed dance, it requires coordinated but free movements, where each participant maintains their individuality while contributing to the shared dance of healing.