The trap of indispensability

There exists a subtle form of domination disguised as absolute devotion: turning one's availability into a chain that binds the other. The subject who makes themselves indispensable isn't giving, but capturing. Under the mask of infinite generosity lies a control strategy that turns the other's dependence into a justification for one's own existence.

This sacrificial position not only suffocates the other but functions as a resistance against one's own becoming. By constructing our identity around being indispensable to others, we build a fortress against our own development. The limitations we impose on ourselves, disguised as virtue and sacrifice, become obstacles not only to our growth but to the freedom of those we claim to love.

True availability paradoxically requires the capacity to not be necessary. Only when we renounce the fantasy of being indispensable, when we assume the risk of being dispensable, can we really be present for the other without turning our presence into a prison. Being oneself implies allowing the other to be themselves as well.