The shadow dance of devaluation

In the complex theater of human relationships, devaluation emerges as a psychic defense that reveals more about the devaluer than the devalued. This unconscious maneuver, where we diminish the other's worth, often masks a profound struggle with our own sense of inadequacy. Like a mirror that we shatter to avoid seeing our reflection, we attack the value in others precisely because it touches upon unresolved wounds in ourselves. The clinical experience shows us how this mechanism operates not as a conscious choice, but as a desperate attempt to manage unbearable internal tensions.

The paradox of devaluation lies in its attempt to build self-worth through the destruction of otherness. By creating a narrative where others are deemed less worthy, we construct an illusory pedestal for ourselves. Yet this victory is pyrrhic - each act of devaluation further entrenches our dependency on external validation, creating a cycle where we must continuously find new targets to maintain our fragile sense of superiority. This compulsive need to devalue becomes a prison of our own making, where authentic connection becomes impossible.

In the analytic space, we witness how this pattern of devaluation often stems from early experiences of not being seen, recognized, or validated in our own uniqueness. The challenge lies not in merely identifying these behaviors, but in creating conditions where one can safely confront these defensive patterns. Only by acknowledging our own vulnerability can we begin to see others in their full humanity, moving from the compulsion to devalue toward the capacity to appreciate the rich complexity of human difference.